My story…

How well do I remember the blood on the walls from the constant fighting that went on at home. It was usually Dad’s blood. Mom had thrown an object and cut him with it. As children, we would scream and cry in terror. My parents drank almost every weekend and the latter parts of the day!
We had a large family, too large. My Dad’s paycheck barely made ends meet. Food was scare, alcohol was abundant and fear was my constant companion. Finally, my Dad had a nervous breakdown and was institutionalized. He would escape on weekends and come home. Sometimes he would do strange things, like set the house on fire. Our mom spent a lot of time away from home trying to find herself at the bottom of a bottle. Since my parents were away, my older siblings and I learned how to take care of the smaller ones. I remember beatings I didn’t deserve and welts that went deep in my flesh…
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I was sitting at a restaurant enjoying my chicken and mashed potatoes, when an attractive woman with three children strolled in. She approached me said, “You’re Carol Kornacki, I remember, you spoke at the Christian Athletes Bible study in Tampa.” I smiled and moved over in the large booth to give her room to join me. As we sat and chatted, I looked at all of the wonderful displays for the holiday. There were lovely decorated wreaths and garlands and there was a mechanical talking Santa at the door promising gifts to all the children that have been good all year.
“So Carol,” Amy asked, “how do you feel about the traditions attached to the Christmas holiday, should they be celebrated? I understand it is a pagan celebration of the sun god, do you know anything about the celebration?”
Do you want to know what my first reaction to her was? Okay, I’ll tell you, my very first reaction was, “Here we go, another Christian over reacting to Santa.”
When I left the restaurant I thought about her. She was kind, loving and sincere, but was she sincerely wrong? I went on home and didn’t give it another thought.
The next day I walked into Borders bookstore. I love that place, it has the best hot chocolate. On my way to get my scrumptious drink, I passed a magazine rack. There it was in Life Magazine, the feature was, “History of Christmas.” “Well, (I thought) this is perfect I got to check this out.” And so I did.
Please keep in mind I am not here to “dis Santa.” I just want to share with you what I researched and discovered. REMEMBER, I READ THIS IN LIFE MAGAZINE, SO DON’T GET MAD AT ME………
The Babylonians, Persians and Macedonians celebrated the end of the year solstice; it took place at the end of December. The druids, (a pagan priesthood) would decorate an oak tree with mistletoe at the top. By the way, mistletoe and the kissing beneath it has pagan written all over it. The people of Norway believed that it had mystical powers from the gods, Baldur being one of them. When you walked under the mistletoe you would kiss the one you were with to celebrate the resurrection of Baldur. Imagine that, the resurrection of Baldur. Also in December, the Roman’s celebrated the god, Saturn. The celebration is called Saturnalia; it is a time of overeating, drinking and making merry. It was celebrated on December 25th.
I was interested in learning more so I continued to read about the tradition of Santa Claus. Who was this ancient character? This is what I learned. Santa Claus is an elf. A jolly old elf that has magical power and is omnipresent. Remember, “He knows when you are sleeping he knows when your awake, he knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.” He knows everything. He lives in the North at the tip of the earth. The Bible teaches us that heaven is in the north.
Santa Claus can fly through the air with magical animals that take him everywhere giving gifts. Cute, right…so that makes it okay?
He puts his finger beside his nose and whoosh, up the chimney he goes. Just good old ancient fun for our children. Hmmmm…I wonder! Santa Claus is a product of the great American melting pot, a blend of many different cultures and customs. His earlier ancestors date back to the pre-Christian days, when sky-riding gods ruled the earth. The mythological characters Odin, Thor and Saturn gave us the many of Santa’s distinctive characteristics.
Part of the tradition springs from a man called St. Nick. There are many stories associated with him. It is legend; he helped three daughters that had no dowry to get married. St Nick threw bags of gold down the chimney and the next morning the gold was found in their socks that had been hung by the fireplace to dry. Thus, the girls were no longer poor and were able to get married. St Nick’s day is December 6th. A celebration of a saint? Odd!
Now, it is a historical fact that April is the month in which the Christ Child was born. Celebrating it in December is fine. We have celebrated “His birth” on the twenty fifth for over a hundred years. Luke, (chapter one) tells the beautiful story of the birth of Christ!
What about the Christmas tree? Let me tell you the wonderful story that is told concerning Martin Luther and how he taught his children. One cold starlit winter night in the woods, he spotted an evergreen tree. This godly man cut it down and carried it home As they decorated it; he taught them that the evergreen can be used to illustrate eternal life, because even during the winter months it remains green. Luther told them that the candles represented Jesus,” the light of the world”. He used the three points of the tree to illustrate the Trinity, And he said, “the top of the tree points to heaven from whence Jesus the Son of God came.” How beautiful does it all become when we train our precious children this way. What an illustration for our children to see when they gather around the tree. And the wonderful exchanging of gifts as we celebrate, “Behold a Child is born,” God’s gift!
So, I have decided that in my home Christmas will be a celebration of the “Birth of the Savoir of the world.” Not a jolly old elf with magical powers visiting my home… that is my decision.

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The truth about Halloween

Halloween. A nice innocent holiday celebrated by the masses? I don’t think so! Everything about the holiday is death and darkness.

I practiced witchcraft for six years. I can personally tell you that the night of October 31st was one of the highest celebrated of the year. It is the night of “Samhein the god of the dead.” It is believed that on this night, Diana the goddess of fertility goes to sleep and the grim reaper, Samhein would wake. He would summon the spirits of the nether world to come up and torment the farmers and the peasants that lived in Britain at the time.

The Druids, a blood drinking priesthood would dress up in ghoulish costumes and roam the countryside threatening the villagers that, if they did not produce a virgin by midnight of the 31st they would cause havoc, the cows would not give their milk and the fields would not produce their crops. (Hence, the costumes and the mantra “trick or treat” that our children utter as they collect their candies) That night a carved squash would be placed on the front porch of the victim’s home with a piece of human fat burning inside. That’s where we get our carved pumpkins. A hexagram would be placed on the front door in blood. During the night there would be fear in the hearts of the farmers.

It is believed by those who practice witchcraft that, on Halloween night the veil between the living and the dead is thinner so spirit travel and necromancy, (communication with the dead) is practiced hardily. Bone fires, (what we refer to as bonfires) were also big. Humans would be burnt alive in wicker baskets offered to the god of the dead. Apple dunking was considered divination. Skeletons, black spiders, bats, ghosts, spirits, death and horror are all part of the celebration of the “Night of Death!”

In modern times the holiday has changed little. Lets look at it realistically. First of all it is a known fact that animal shelters will do an early and complete lockdown because animals are stolen, usually found sacrificed. The candy that our precious children collect will have to be closely investigated due to the tampering that goes on. Razors, poison and other evil goodies have been reported every year. How pitiful!! In some wooded area’s blood will be found from some unfortunate victim. It is a fact that it is a night of orgies. You would be surprised how seriously those who practice Satanism view this night. Come on folks let’s be real. Isn’t there enough death and darkness in the world today?

Aren’t our precious children seeing enough? Should those who are Christians be more protective of their loved ones? Shouldn’t we find an alternative? IF HAVE SAID IT MORE THEN ONCE, I WILL GLADLY SAY IT AGAIN, YOU DON’T SEE WITCHES SHOWING UP ON CHRISTMAS TO CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF OUR WONDERFUL SAVIOR, SO WHY DO WE CELEBRATE THE NIGHT OF DEATH FOR THE GOD OF DEATH? Something to think about!

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FEAR: It grips and paralyzes! Get set free!

I shall never forget the image of the airplanes hitting the towers in New York City on September 11th. I don’t think there is anyone who can forget it. The whole world watched in horror as “terrorists” made the statement, “America, you are not safe.” That attack intensified the fear in many. It is a fact that 80% of Americans are fearful of being a victim of terror or violence. What is a terrorist? Webster’s defines it as, “one who governs by terror or intimidation.” The word terror is defined as, “ intense overpowering fear!” That’s what the devil is, he is a terrorist!

My friend, fear is everywhere. It haunts the innocent in the night; I am constantly dealing with children who are afraid of the dark. Fear, trails us in airplanes, cars and public places. Lets face it since 9/11 we have a tendency to look around on an airplane; who’s that sitting next to me, that guy across the isle, he looks suspicious. Various people are suffering with panic attacks, anxiety and phobias such as fear of water or height. People are afraid of spiders, snakes or mice. I have a friend who is a big guy, if you saw him you would never believe that he is afraid of the smallest rodents, but he is! .

People fear suffering from sickness and a tremendous amount of people are afraid of dying. Everyone wants to see Jesus, but many of us are afraid to die.. I had a wonderful friend that was a healthy as they come. He really never had a sick day that I can recall. One day his doctor suggested he do a routine exam on him because he was over fifty. The results came back with traces of cancer. My big healthy, never sick friend died just a short time later. The cancer didn’t kill him the fear did! Anyone who has ever got a bad report from the doctor will tell you that the biggest factor is not the disease but the fear.

In today’s society most of us, (though many will not admit it) are fearful of aging. Women fearful of losing their husbands to the younger women will go to the plastic surgeon for a facelift, tummy tuck and enlargements. Men who share the fear of aging will get hair plugs, lipo… I’ll tell you folks the plastic surgery industry is at an all time high. Age, it’s not a fun thing.

The fear of being left alone, being rejected or failure all plague countless people. That is why suicide is so prevalent today. People are afraid to face tomorrow, so they extinguish tomorrow by taking their own lives. Depression is often a result of fear. Our society is loaded down with antidepressants and pills to conquer fear. Pills to cope, pills to sleep, pills to pep you up, pills to slow you down, pills to stop you from too much thinking and pills to help you think. Medicine is good and helps a lot of people. But personally I feel like we are an over medicated society.

And by the way, gentlemen are you allowed to admit you are afraid? Isn’t it true that men are to be the strong ones? Men are not allowed to admit to fear, that is beneath them. Isn’t that what you are taught from childhood up? If you didn’t keep up with the tough guys you were a sissy. Right? Wrong!

Everyone deals with fear, everyone! It is a natural emotion. But when it torments you and controls you then it is not normal or healthy.

Fear is the opposite of faith. Jesus continually said, fear not! Because it is impossible to believe when we are afraid. We have to face our fear with faith. Faith stands in the face of fear and believes that God will come through for us.

Let me tell you what happened when I was a teen. I came from a poor family. We had a lot of problems and the school I attended was aware of our home life. The kids use to tease us because we didn’t have much and my father was always sick. Sometimes he was confined to a mental institution. Anyway, I wanted to walk home with the “cool kids.” I wanted to be accepted even though I didn’t fit in. I use to walk with a group of kids after school over this bridge that was called the “Henry bridge.” There was a girl that was considered tough in school, she was big and could beat anyone up. She would see me coming up the bridge and laugh at me and tell the others, “Watch me freak Carol out!” By the time I reached the top of the bridge she would be laughing and intimidating me in front of all my friends. She would hit me in the face as it turned red she would hit me again. I never struck her back, I was too afraid. Every week I would walk up that bridge. I would see her at the top waiting for me. Every step that I took brought more fear and trepidation. I was helpless with fear. She was in control. How would I ever overcome this beating and fear? One day, I bumped into her in the school hallway. The minute I saw her, paralyzing fear gripped me. I new I was in for a hurting and she laid one on me that left me reeling. Boy, that hurt!

I decided that day, that I wasn’t going to take it from her anymore. I reached out and grabbed her and got her in a headlock. I was a small kid so it was all I could do so she couldn’t hurt me anymore. Man, I held on! She started kicking and trying to get away.. When I looked into her face I saw that she was afraid of me. When I finally released her she ran for her life. And folks, she never waited for me on the bridge again. I was free. Why? Because I stood up to her. That’s how you have to treat the devil, he is the author of fear. He tries to convince you that you are a prisoner of fear and he is in control. That not true! Greater is He that is in you then he that is in the world . Greater, do you understand? Demons fear the Blood of Jesus. Fear is held captive when Faith is exercised. God is fearless and bigger then your fear.

Get out the Word of God and stand on it.

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I Believe In God, But Do I Believe Him?

Hebrews 3:12 Beware Brother, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of UNBELIEF in departing from the Living God.

I know a great Man of God, he is a Pastor, I preach at his church every year. He told me that one day he was asked by a friend, “Ron, what are you believing God for?” Ron replied, “to finish the auditorium, so that the kids will have a place to come and gather and enjoy themselves!” A short time later a check for a hundred thousand dollars came in the mail, to pay for the work on the auditorium.

And so, I ask you, “What are you believing God for?” At this very moment, what are you standing in faith for?” Is it financial security, the salvation of your family, healing, peace, maybe a college education or restoration of your marriage? Are you fighting depression or rejection? What exactly do you need to believe God for?

As we grow in our walk with the LORD, we must grow in faith. It seems as time ticks by, some of us grow weaker rather then stronger in what God has said concerning His great and precious promises!

I know I am guilty at times of unbelief. I know that there are times that without warning I have wondered into depending on my own ability and my own strength in a matter that should be in the hands of the Living God. .

I came from a sordid and evil background. Before I met Jesus Christ I was doomed. Literally doomed! When Jesus saved my soul, miraculously, I might add. I had to learn to totally trust Him in everything, my life, my health, my future, everything! At first it was easy, because I was a babe in Christ and believing HIM came easy. I felt His Great Sacred Holy Spirit inside of me and I knew that He was there, there was no doubt, no unbelief………..I knew that I knew that I was in the palm of Jesus Christ’s blood stained hand, bought and paid for. I firmly believed that no one or nothing could snatch me out.

When things were good, I trusted Him. When things were not so good, I trusted Him. The Word was a light to my path, a lamp unto my feet. I knew those promises were yes and yes. Believing was as simple as breathing. I watched God move in every area and I remained patient when I had to wait to see Him come through. I knew beyond a shadow of doubt He would come through. My faith was the sail that steered the ship. And no matter how great the storm, I always made it to shore safe, one way or another.

Some of the test and trials were hard and took lots of standing on the Word of God. And there were times things did not turn out the way I wanted them to, but always for my own good. I smile as I think about the trials that came down to the midnight hour. Five minutes before midnight, still I waited. One second before midnight, my faith strong and secure, then as the second hand moved methodically to the last second, my precious Lord would (in all His wonder and faithfulness), come through! Naturally…… supernaturally!

My faith that God Is, my love for Jesus never diminished. Sadly though, I found myself working things out myself. Trusting my ability to make it happen and seeing things slowly lose His presence and power in my life. Rather then wait on the Lord; I made rash decisions that cost me. I clearly remember on one occasion, the Holy Spirit saying to me, “Remember, this was your idea, not Mine!” And seven years later, I would hear that ringing in my ears.

I love the Word and I know it is the truth, universal truth, there is no other! Period, paragraph! I am sure you feel the same. But lets be honest, as I am trying to be. There comes a time when we may lose interest in reading and studying and leaning on the Word of God. It isn’t something we plan or do deliberately, many of us have read the bible through more then we can count. I know that I have. And though we can quote it, as many can, we don’t really believe that the Word has the power to do all that it promises. Maybe we have lost patience in the promises because we have had to pray to long or trust too much. Whatever!

In the letter written to the Hebrews, the writer reminds the Christian Jews of their forefather’s wonderings in the wilderness, he tells them of Jehovah’s faithfulness with signs and wonders. When Egypt perused them to destroy them, Jehovah covered them with the waters of the Red Sea. When they got into a dry and waterless land, He provided water from a Rock and Bread from heaven. When they murmured for lack of meat, He sent fowl to eat. Over and over they were exposed to His great love and supernatural power and ability on their behalf. For some time they were grateful and fearful of His Greatness. But as time passed, they forgot and became dependent on themselves.

It wasn’t the heat that took down those that fell in the wilderness. It wasn’t for lack of nourishment, or the wild beasts that roamed the arid places. No, it was their unbelief that killed them.

“They will not enter into my rest, because of unbelief!” The unrest that you may be experiencing is brought on by your unbelief. People contact me and say, “I have sinned against the Lord, how can He ever forgive me, I am certainly doomed to hell!” My dear one, you are not doomed because of your sin, it is your unbelief.

The bible clearly states, “Without faith, yes faith! It is impossible to please God. Not good works, not a big ministry, not a visit to the homeless. All of that is noble and kind, but without faith, it is impossible to please Him.

Some time back I had a great vision in the middle of the night. The Lord woke me and showed me what was to come in the future, concerning me. It all seemed so surreal at the time. But I knew, it was the Lord. Some years later, exactly what the Lord showed me came to pass. Yet, I had not seen the finish of the vision. You know why? I did not apply faith to it and continue to believe. I just let it go and waited for God to do more. He was willing, but I had to mingle the promise with faith. I failed to do that. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and revealed to me that I did not walk in faith concerning that vision and promise and I had hindered it myself.

“ He who comes to God must believe that He is and He rewards those who diligently seek Him!” Seek Him how, by abiding in Him and His Word abiding in us. The word abides means to tarry or remain., stay there no matter what, no matter what comes to thwart the promise of His everlasting Word. Never let the Word leave your hearts or lips without combining it with faith!!!.

Let me ask you again dear one, “What are you believing God for?” Are you proclaiming His Word and standing? Is the Name above all names on your lips coupled with faith and secure in His ability to bring you through whatever this world throws at you? And when you have done everything to stand, are you still standing? Or are we as the ones in the wilderness, who tested and tried Him and grieved the Holy One with unbelief. Can he say of you, “You always go astray in your heart!

Sweet Merciful Jesus, teach us to see the various times that you brought us through. The times when it looked like there was no way out, and you made one. The times of famine in our mouths and hearts and you fed us the fresh manna from heaven, you freely gave your Body and Blood for our salvation. Remind us of the miracle of redemption, the presence of your Holy Spirit. Keep us ever mindful of your great and precious promises and that we are in your care. Storm or calm seas, you are with us and will never forsake us. Teach us Holy Spirit to believe and never give our hearts to unbelief, that great sin of apostasy from the truth.

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Suicide…The New Epidemic

Jerry was nineteen he came from a wealthy established family. One morning he took a double barrel shot gun, and while my sister stood just feet away, he pulled the trigger and blew off the top of his head. Years later the image of him crumbling to the ground as the bullet entered his head in her memory as the morning it happened.

Don left home one night and went to the drive-in. He seemed depressed as a result of his job and financial pressures, He was found the next morning dead in his car. Don had taken a hose from a vacuum cleaner and attached it to his car exhaust. He left the car running filling it with fumes that choked the life out of him. Depressed? Who knew?

Just this week two friends called me in desperation because their teens were planning to commit suicide. One had a girlfriend leave him; the other was suffering from depression because of their parents divorce. This hit me very hard, too hard to ignore. I can’t just dismiss it, can you? Is this terror going to invade your life or the life of someone you love?

People, suicide is a monster, a demon that preys upon the weak, lonely, helpless and confused and it thrives on depression. It has no respecter of age, culture or breeding. The rich, famous, educated, the poor and homeless, are at risk. It is a fact that one time or another in a person’s lifetime they will think about suicide. You may not want to admit it, but at some point it entered your mind. That ugly spirit has come to torment and tempt. Depression is the number one cause of suicide. For years before I found Christ I would sit with guns in my mouth, waiting to pull the trigger. I would take cars and drive them into telephone poles and lakes. I would deliberately take overdoses of drugs. Pain that could not control, thoughts that ruled my life controlled me and it was God’s grace that kept me from killing myself. I had at least twenty friends and acquaintances that didn’t stop. They took their lives in various ways. One jumped off the Peace Bridge into the Niagara River in the middle of winter. They found him four months later decomposed floating in the Horseshoe Falls. I cried till I hurt. How could we have stopped this tragedy?

The government has declared suicide as an epidemic. Yes-dear friend, an epidemic!. You, and your loved ones are targets for this unclean lying spirit. What can we do? As the world seems to grow darker, as rejection, unemployment and hopelessness creeps into the lives of thousands this filthy spirit works his hateful work of suicide as an answer. As hopelessness seems to overtake our children this hateful spirit intensifies its work of darkness. But, we can overcome we can wage war. We can be victorious; we can save our loved ones and our children from this cycle.

Are you tempted with ending your life? Do you know someone who can’t take it anymore and wants out or is dealing with depression? I am on a crusade to stop this horror through this ministry by working with these hurting people. This is a serious cause and we will respond promptly. Before you make a decision to end it, please call us. Please let me help get you through.

Dear Christian friends I need you to assist me in putting a stop to this: Put me in touch with people you know who are contemplating suicide or feel helpless and hopeless.

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Christians, Wiccians, Witchcraft…Is Satan real?

For six years I practiced witchcraft, Wicca, New age, Buddhism and Eastern religion. I followed gurus, meditated into oblivion, cast spells, astral projected and acted as a psychic. At the time I was on a journey for truth. I collected books and materials on all the above named subjects and studied diligently.

I considered myself a witch who practiced the occult. Now when we hear that word, occult, we think about black masses, sacrifices and all the gory stuff. Occult simply means, “hidden things.” I was not one who was into the black masses or human sacrifices; I was referred to as “a renegade witch.” I wanted the power it promised and I wanted to put it into action in my life. After years of searching and study I was sure I had found it.

Anyway, back to my point… And by the way, I do have one.

After intense study and having visited places that I was sure would enhance the power (that I was experiencing) and having been taught by a group of specialists in the field, I had come to one of my “peaks.” I refer to them as peaks, because it was the time that I put into practice what I had learned during my apprentice stage.

By the way, I am aware of the vow that is taken in the “Wicca” ritual. The one that is uttered in the indoctrination, “I will do harm to no one.” and how the magic is non-harming and consensual and only for good. Makes for a great creed, but is it true?

Some of the best people I know who are good and kind will do harm to others. So what makes us believe that those who are involved with this type of power will not use it to harm?

Oh well, moving’ right along….

The term Neo-pagan includes all faith groups which can include Druidism or even Asatru. As a Wiccan one prefers to be referred to as a “pagan.” Satan is considered an anti-Christian god. He is exempt from the practice of witchcraft and Wicca, so they say.

I worshipped Diana, goddess of the Greeks. My masculine god was Pan, (ya know, that half man half horse that you see in mythology?) I followed the female and male gods, considering them to have accomplished their goals through their power of deity. Some that practice paganism profess that they are atheist and still others worship the created things, (air, moon and stars). It can become very complicated. The practitioner has his or her choice in whom and what they believe.

When practicing the above, I was relentless to prove to all the “Christians” that I was not an evil pagan and that what I practiced was not demonic but in fact a pure gift that was bestowed on me through my apprenticeship and faithfulness to my belief. Does that make any sense, probably not, because it all just seems to go round and round?

However, when we choose to believe in something, we give it our all and we will protect it with a vengeance, rather it is right or wrong.

The question that I was left with after obtaining this power was, what am I to do with it? And will it ultimately cost me something somewhere down the road?

Another question that crept into my mind was this, what if suddenly one day I am faced with dying? (And we all get there soon enough) Will my faith in Diana (the Greek goddess of fertility and the moon) or Pan, (the god of the woods, as he is referred to) or the moon, the stars the constellations, the round and round of the “circle of life, my karma, or whatever the ancient books told me in their NOT SO SECURE teachings, will all that be enough? Let’s face it a lot of us go though life thinking we will live forever so why not just live for today? But when death looks us in the face, we certainly see things differently. Death is a solo flight; we don’t get to take anyone with us. Death is a journey that each living human being takes “by him or herself!” We face death alone, and in the moment of transition or departure I am sure that we all wonder were we are going.

Just recently a terrible storm tore though four counties leaving a path of devastation and death behind. It broke my heart to see people searching through rubble for loved ones and lost possessions. Many of these precious people were interviewed; they spoke about the storm, the sound of it and the fear that you experience when you think that these may be your last moments on this earth.

When asked what they did in the midst of their fear as they faced the possibility of death, the answer was almost always the same, “they prayed!”

There are two points that I wish to address in this REAL DEAL, and I am sure that there are those that will disagree. But we can agree to disagree, right? Right!

First point: the “Satan thing.” I know that pagans or the majority of them (as I once practiced and believed myself) feel that Christians have an anti-Christian deity referred to as Satan. The popular opinion is that Christian are always accusing “pagans or witches” of being in league with Satan and claiming that the whole pagan religion is backed by Satan. The pagan or Wiccan is insulted and constantly trying to debunk the assault. The Wiccan’s are against the Christian and visa versa.

I am not always proud of the way that some Christians go about arguing their case. I know that God is a God of love and one needn’t force their ideas on another. However, the Christian is getting his information from the bible and it does in fact teach against divination, necromancy, magic and witchcraft. This being so, the Christian feels it is their duty to inform the one practicing such things. Still, I feel that it is important that we don’t try to shove our information in someone’s face, but to inform with kindness and love. Then let each one make ones own choice.

Let me address something here, having been practiced witchcraft. I never believed that I was serving Satan, never!!! I knew there were things that were questionable having been raised a Catholic for many years. Still, I believed I had a gift and it was from God. As I went deeper into the teachings and practiced the magic and physic power, I began to grow in the “knowledge” and learn to communicate with the “spirit realm” and allow those whom I believed were departed spirits of loved ones or ancient spirits to teach me the ancient secrets.

The “power” that I was experiencing, came with a price.. PEOPLE, EVERYTHING COMES WITH A PRICE….. EVERYTHING!

One day I began asking my self a lot of questions. I began to think about eternity and the fact that I would eventually be facing it. I thought about what I had done in this life and the people that I had injured and used.

The whole karma thing began to look bleak and empty, as for reincarnation; I had little interest in returning to this world as a bird or lady bug?

“Nirvana” seemed unattainable and meditation returned me to the same thoughts and lost feelings. I felt a need to find more stability concerning eternity. What I had been taught about sin was that “it was all karma, just karma man!” I would get another chance to come back to the earth through soul migration and have another shot at it, to discover that I am indeed divine. This might take several life and death experiences, but what the heck, I had eternity right? And what about the so called devil, was he indeed here to torment and confuse just Christians? Was I, as a practicing “pagan” (who had doubts about his authenticity) exempt from his attacks?

This is a lot of territory to cover I told myself. Diana, my female goddess wasn’t doing me a whole heck of a lot of good. And so if I changed goddesses or became an atheist would that make me feel better? Look people, were talking eternity here.

To tell you the truth, some of the moral teachings that Christians believed, well, that didn’t exactly float my boat. Still something inside me felt empty and void. All the power and the ability that had been bestowed on me left me cold and in question. I began to see clearly that this so called Satan was indeed after my life and wanted to destroy me even if I was serving him (and not aware of it) I began to tumble into an abyss of unanswered questions and confusion. I came to realize that this “pagan religion” had no future to offer its followers. The whole pagan thing seemed a “live for today,” As for sin; there was no need to clear it up in ones life. No salvation, no sacrifice just live and let live.

I began to look for a way out of this “paganism” that I had embraced for so long and believed to be true. It was during this time I began to become acutely aware of this so called “Satan.” He made himself very real to me. The power that was so available to me now seemed to have a price tag on it. I realized that I was duped into believing that this pagan practice was the real thing. Man, was I ever deceived!

I had encounters with this evil entity “Satan” and found that the only way to keep him at bay in my life and his efforts to harm me was through the “Blood of Jesus Christ!

But not so fast, I had a lot of things to find out about Christianity before I made a decision to serve Jesus Christ instead of the “other gods.”

I learned of His undying love through the sacrifice of His own Blood to set me free from my sins and the guilt and shame of them.

I learned of The One True God’s eternal plan for man kind and how He personally rescued the human race from eternal death and damnation.

I leaned about His power, not spells, magic or incantations, but Holy powers that could and would change lives and heal hearts and bodies. This was truly the answer that I was looking for.

I had learned much about blood in my witchcraft days, but now it was about the Blood of the Son of God, Jesus Christ.

I was elated when the truth of His power began to work its power in me. I was full of joy and gratefulness for what I learned He had done in regards to the sin problem. I was over whelmed and relieved to learn that I didn’t have to come back to the earth repeatedly through reincarnation!

I entered the pagan belief because I wanted power and acceptance. I wanted people to be in awe of me. I wanted to feel good about me and belong to something that was intriguing. I was a good student of it all and when I arrived I was more lost and empty then when I started out.

Okay, one might say, “well, that’s you Carol, I don’t believe that “pagan beliefs” are connected to Satan. Okay, that’s cool, that is your opinion and belief, and you have every right to believe whatever you choose. But please, ask yourself the questions,

“Where will I spend eternity?

Is this pagan belief system enough to carry me through the eventual eternity that we all enter into?

Is this the truth?

Is my faith in the gods and goddesses going to get me through? Are they really out for my good?

Is Satan just a Christian thing, could I be his target as well?

Is God for me and willing to show me the truth?

Closing comments……





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Addicted Christians…Are you one of them?

She is lovely; her smile lights up a room. She has impeccable taste and dresses fabulous. Not a hair out of place. Makeup? She wears it but she doesn’t need it. Exercise? She doesn’t have to. She has a great shape. She loves the Lord and prays everyday. I can’t think of a time she refused to help someone in need. Everyone who meets her loves her, Unfortunately, this lovely creature has a secret, she is, “addicted to prescription med’s!”

I was told that America consumes more meds then any other country in the world. WOW! I am not talking about street drugs; I am referring to medications prescribed for pain, anxiety or sleep disorder. Remember the popular radio broadcaster who was busted for doctor shopping and illegally using “Oxicoten?” (A powerful opiate, prescribed for pain). This famous man was using up to thirty (maybe forty, wow) of these opiates a day and functioning in the public eye without a trace of his addiction being detected.

Everyday, more and more people are becoming addicted to “med’s” These precious people start out with an injury, anxiety or they can’t sleep at night, they receive scripts for a medication to relieve them. Unfortunately, drugs can give you a feeling of “euphoria and well being.” So what starts out, as a relief for pain, restlessness or sleeplessness becomes daytime “high!”

Let me give you an example of what can happen. Sarah, a hard working housewife, (who is trying to balance a busy schedule,) is on her way to pick her son up after his soccer practice, she is late and has a dinner engagement. She approaches an intersection, it’s a yellow light and it appears clear. So, she takes it. Bam! Sarah is taken to the hospital; she is shaken up and has whiplash. She is sent home with a prescription for a strong opiate for pain, a sedative for sleep and an antidepressant for the anxiety. Quite a load, but at the time it is needed. I emphasize, AT THE TIME.

For days the pain med helps tremendously, the sleep aid helps her to sleep because she is restless and of course the antidepressant is working on her nerves. all seems to be well. Sarah is taking the med’s according to the Doctors instruction. After a few weeks she notices that the pain is better. At her next visit her Doctor informs her that he is going to take her off the strong stuff and give her something different. Sarah goes home and takes the new med. It doesn’t give her that same feeling; in fact she feels less energy, and what about that, “all over warm feeling” that the pills provide, she wants that back too. So she calls her doctor and complains about the “terrible pain” she is still experiencing, (she’s lying and she knows it), but she can’t help herself.

Her doctor refuses to give her the strong opiate, so she goes to another doctor and gets it. Now, the energy is back and she feels “good” again. Each morning Sarah sits and counts her pills, if she is short or her supply is low she panic’s. So she will “doctor shop” to find a replacement for the doctor who refuses her pain pills. This once vivacious woman is now falling into the life of a “med addict.” Her family is beginning to worry, her friends see the change and she is oblivious to it all, the only thing that matters is the drugs, they have taken over her life.

During the day, it’s codeine, with an added buffer of antidepressant. At night she takes her sleeping pills to slow her system down. It is a vicious circle and Sarah is caught in the middle. She tells herself, its for the pain, it’s needed, she can handle it……….but can she, can anyone really control the power of the drug?

Drug addicts don’t live a full life, it is cut off where the addiction starts and it is heartbreaking. I have dear friends that are drug addicted due to an accident or injury that put them on the medicine. When you confront them with their “over the top” use of the med’s, they will go toe to toe with you and swear they are not addicted and they are in constant pain.

Let me be clear here, pain is not pleasant and at times unbearable. So the next best thing is to subdue it by way of medicine. This stuff can be very powerful and seems to make all our problems go a way, FOR THE MOMENT.

I am not saying that medicine is bad or that someone who is hurting badly hasn’t the need for medication to help them get through the day.

I am addressing the ones who know that they are not in that much pain and need the drug more then the relief, their body hurts because it wants the drug, not because of injury. Addiction is a debilitating sickness and it is a thief and murderer. It sucks the life out of people and steals their joy and home and family and often their livelihood.

There are some good, god- fearing Christians that are addicted to medications and making excuses to stay that way. They want to have their problems solved by taking a pill and they are deceived into believing that the pill will always be there to take the edge off and get them through. But the truth is, that eventually the effects of that drug will damage other areas of their lives, mentally, physically or emotionally.

There are some that want to be free but don’t know where to start or just can’t muster up the strength to do what needs to be done. A lot of precious people have lost friends and family because they have changed so much and become totally sold out to drugs.

Are you addicted to med”s? Do you “doctor shop” to keep up your habit? Is your life ebbing away? Do you know you have to stop, but don’t know how? It starts by admitting your need to be free!

I want to take this opportunity to reach out to you. Think about the meds that you take. Are they necessary or do you need them to cope with life? For a time they may be very helpful and some people truly need them… however, the addicts to prescription drugs are the people that I am appealing to. No matter what type of med’s you are addicted to; there is a way out.

For years I was addicted to drugs, hard drugs! I was what the world referred to as a “hopeless drug addict!” I lived and breathe my next “fix,” my world revolved around it. I was deceived into believing it made life easier when in fact it was destroying me. It got so bad that I would take too much. More then once I turned blue, people would panic and leave me lying there and run out. I was so bad that the average drug addict, refused to get high with me. I was a risk. So people gave up on me, “she’ll never change, she will die,” they would say.

But a “man who loved me more then I could ever imagine” whose name is Jesus Christ, saw past my faults and saw my needs. Years of hurt and brokenness had brought me to this place where being high was all I knew. I needed a supernatural power to work a work in me. When I surrendered myself to that great power my life was drastically changed forever. I was able, by His love and strength, “in me”, to stay away from the temptation. He aided me and after a time it became easier, thank God!

I am not a special case; there isn’t anyone that is exempt from God’s loving and delivering power, no one!! He wants all to be free, but you have to give your life to Him completely and trust that He is able. And He Is!! You need to let go and let God and then get away from the temptation that surrounds you by making a clean break, if a rehab clinic is needed, do all that you can to get in and get help.

Here are weapons that God has provided for you to fight your way out of this cloud of addiction and give you strength on the inside and faith to keep on keeping on.

Read the Word of God daily and apply the Blood of Jesus!

There is power in prayer


I promise, if you make a decision and seek His delivering power, you will see a huge difference and soon you will, like me, be telling the world, “whom the Son set free, is free indeed!”

Posted in Drug Abuse | Leave a comment

I’m praying, nothings happening… why???

I have to tell ya, there are a lot of people that are discouraged and disgruntled. I get a ton of phone calls and emails with the same rant, “I pray and nothing seems to happen, where is God?” And honestly, there are times I don’t know what to say. Some one may say, “Oh, Miss Preacher, your suppose to have an answer for everything!” No…. no one has ALL the answers. Only God.

Let me share with you some of the things people are walking through…..

A woman named Anne, had her husband die “suddenly!” I am talking suddenly.” One minute they were carrying on a conversation, the next, he was gone.

She was stunned. Shortly after the memorial, she found out he left her with NOTHING! ZERO! Except a pile of bills and two mortgages on the house. She was instantly broke. she could barely afford to bury the man. Her precious daughter had a nervous breakdown and landed up in an institution. This widow is busted, broke and broken….she lost her husband, she thinks she is losing her home and she almost lost her child.

A wife calls me to tell me her husband, who she just married, fell down a set of stairs and is now confined to a bed. This once vibrant man is now on life support. she barely got to enjoy her new life with him when this happened. In a short time she went from a happy new wife, to a full time nurse for him. She is confused and “a very lonely woman.”

A young girl contacts me, she is discouraged. People at the church don’t treat her right. She was once on drugs and practiced witchcraft. Before her conversion, she got a bunch of “tattoo’s.” She feels that because she is pierced and tattooed, the church people do not accept her and it has hurt her walk with God. (

A guy who is a hard, dilegent worker, who sings in a worship group at church and reads his bible regularly, just had a heart attack. He is out of work and feeling “abandoned” by God.

“I am a faithful thither Carol, he told me, where is the money to support my family. I feel like I am falling apart!”
All of the above people tell me, “I pray, I believe, but He doesn’t answer!”

Lets talk.
First of all, I have felt the very same way. I have watched people who sin openly and uncaringly prosper and do well. And I have watched good men and women suffer and travail in prayer. only to feel like God isn’t listening.

Let me start here.

God is always listening… oh, I know that sounds like a “pat answer” and most people respond with, “He is? then why is nothing happening?”

The fact is, something is happening. It may not be the way we think it should, but He is working things together for our good!

I have found in the times that I feel over welmed or discouraged. OH YES, I FEEL THAT WAY SOMETIMES TOO! there are three things that hasten God’s move on my behalf and make me feel the “PEACE” that I need to get me through.
Here we go….

1. I stop talking negitive. The devils dwells in negitive talking and thinking. He loves when a Child of the King, is flapping his/her jaw and saying all the “POINTLESS AND HOPELESS” THINGS. Change the way you talk, it will change the atmosphere around you and charge it with HOPE…. FORGET WHAT ISN’T, SAY WHAT THE WORD SAYS ABOUT YOU…..

2. I FORCE MYSELF TO HAVE RECKLESS FAITH. okay don’t think my words are “reckless.”

I mean I choose to believe that God intends to meet all my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. I choose to release my faith, even if it is a morsel or a tiny little bit… I let it go… I declare God’s provisions, peace, my needs met, hope, deliverence…. etc…

Faith pleases God, it moves mountiains of distress, finances, etc…


3. I try to meditate on the last time I was discouraged or down and God in His faithfulness and rich mercy met me at the point of my need and rescued me.

I think on these things, good report, worthy of praise, happy things, Gods goodness.


I find that if I practice the above. I feel better and eventually.. through faith and patience GOD COMES THROUGH EVERY TIME… HEY, TRY IT… let go of the discouragement and let it be replaced by “courage.” Courage to believe, when it looks impossible. courage to go on, marching forward and in the hope that only the Holy Spirit can provide.

Give the devil a black eye, don’t let him hear all the negitive…. split his lip with POSITIVE, FAITHFILLED, NEVER GIVING UP .. NOT GOING DOWN… TALK!


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The Truth About Giving, The Way I See It!

When I first got “saved” I was happy to get the “free gift” provided by Jesus Christ. His forgiveness and a new life through His powerful mighty Blood!
But when it came to giving? I was like, “forget it!” Don’t touch my wallet!
Now, I am NOT here to tell you five stories about how I gave and it came back “mega bucks!” Nope, that is not the reason I am writing this.
My purpose is to share what I feel is the “truth about giving” and pass it on.
Certainly, I expect you to search the scriptures yourself, (the problem today is that most people don’t, they just take some one else’s word rather then God’s Word.) oops!

Okay, first of all. Even in the “world” in my most miserable state, I knew that giving had a way of coming back to you. Kind of like the law of gravity. What you throw up has to come down. Seemed it worked (kind of) the same way.
However, when I was “saved” I had fallen so madly in love with Jesus Christ (considering He died in my place and took the nails I deserved) that I would have given Him; anything, without hesitation. I mean anything!
So I started to listen to the law of giving as it was preached, eager to learn all there was to know about the KINGDOM OF GOD and its principles.

Finally, I tried it. I gave when common sense said, “I shouldn’t,” and my wallet said “I couldn’t.” And sure enough it came back, usually in a super natural way.
Now stay with me here……….and by the way, at the end of this message, I am not taking up an offering. Honest!
Anyway, I started checking this “seed stuff” out. I found out that the WORD of God is the seed, Jesus said that. He never called “money” seed.
But I got the point when it was taught that money was like “planting” seed.

However, it didn’t really do much in the way of “convincing” me to give.
But the “seed” teaching seemed to be influential and so I thought, “why not?”
So I began to “plant seed” everywhere I heard the teaching. I planted for blessings, health, salvation of loved ones, prosperity, a new job, a new watch, a new car, etc, etc, etc…..
I wasn’t picky what type of ground my “seed” was planted into, just get it there and get the “blessing,” and of course, the 100 fold return.
Got to tell you, some of my “seed” produced, (and that is to be expected.) But a lot of it didn’t.
I began to ask God, what am I doing wrong? What was I missing?
I feel like God began to show me something…. I was planting in the wrong ground with the wrong heart!
I was moved by need, desperation and influence, rather then a “cheerful” heart, and truly seeking the Holy Spirit on where to give

People, giving isn’t “rocket science!”
We are suppose to give to the Lords work because we love Him and want the world to know how wonderful Jesus is.
Listen, The gospel of Jesus Christ is free, but it takes money to get it out!
But if we give because we have been, manipulated, emotionally moved or even threatened that God will curse us? Then something is very wrong!
We give because we love Jesus, with all our hearts; we aren’t bargaining with Him at a wholesale house!
When you love “HIM” with all your heart, you want to see your gift to HIM produce, food for starving people, the gospel to reach all nations, the church to be equipped with the five fold ministries, outreaches, missions, aid to hurting and broken lives and so on.

If we are giving because we think we are playing some sort of “lotto” and God can be “bingo-ed” we are sadly mistaken. Giving is to meet the needs of the church and for our “benefit” when we give as The Holy Spirit leads.

I learned in my giving to find out if “my seed,” is being planted out in the fields of “lost souls” and human needs!
Because if my seed is going into that kind of soil? It will indeed produce. I don’t want my seed to rot in ground that is not nourished by the planter.
Precious saint, giving is part of being a loving and caring Christian.
Giving DOES have a law attached to it, “give and it will be given to you……” but I strongly encourage you to be sure that the place you entrust your “seed” is making sure that “your seed” is being planted in ground that God is honoring.

When you give with a pure heart and open hands for HIS GLORY you can’t go wrong!
I assure you; if you have a pure heart and give to the gospel because you love Christ… you will be blessed and satisfied in your spirit.
God loves you; He will guide you and instruct you, if you seek Him, FOR YOURSELF! YOU are capable of hearing His voice.

I have since experienced a “new way” in my giving.
I pray this way…
“Lord, I love you, because while I was yet a sinner, you died for me and accepted me as I was. You cleaned me up and made my life worth living.
So I give to the work of the kingdom of God, cheerfully, and yes, carefully… seeking You my Lord, to know where you would have me “plant my seed.”
And because I give with a pure heart of love and blessing your work with gladness, my needs will be met, by your “riches in glory in Christ Jesus… Amen!

Tightly in His grip,


Posted in Giving | Leave a comment